77 Funny Quotes About Life Short Words To Make You Laugh – FunZumo

Looking for funny quotes about life? to help you go through today. These Short funny words will inspire you at the same fourth dimension laugh out loudly. "The only mystery in life is not about how you survive the tempest, it's about how you lot dance in the rain.

Inspirational quotes about life and success between lines in Real life ofttimes take a lot of real stresses. "The average man does not know what to exercise with his life, nonetheless wants another one which will last forever". Here are our favorite funny motivational quotes about life, work and condign successful.

Life can sometimes exist a true challenge. To brighten your mood, we've created a list with some of the funniest quotes about life. Enjoy! Share the best funny quotes on life inspirational collection past famous authors and comedians. Join the fun pun… I am blest with a funny factor that makes me savor life…

Funny Quotes About Life

Funny quotes on life relationship advice Words To Make You Laugh "If you love someone let them go. If they come dorsum with coffee it was meant to be." Funny quotes about dear to express "I honey being married. Information technology's so great to detect that one special person y'all want to annoy for the rest of your life."

1. "Yous sir are the human being version of menses cramps"

2. "I hide behind sarcasm because telling you to go fuck yourself is considered rude in about social situations."

3. "Did yous simply fall?" "No. I attacked the floor." "Backwards?" "I'm freaking talented!"

4. "Nutrition tip: Your pants will never be too tight if you don't wear any."

v. "Life is a bitch so learn how to fuck it."

6. "When life brings big winds of change that well-nigh blow y'all over, shut your eyes, hold on tight, and believe."

seven. "OMG! Deadening down! Yer gonna get united states killed!"

viii. "Das schicksal ordnet still und leise, das leben ganz auf seine weise. Fate assigns quietly that live entirely in his own way"

ix. "Based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never wait absurd walking abroad from an explosion."

10. "E'er go along your chin up… otherwise, you are simply looking at your boobs all day."

11. "I'm non an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure that the world revolves around the sunday and non you."

12. "When people tell me I need to smile more than…."

13. "Dude my phone rang during the funeral!!! So? My band tone is the highway to hell!"

xiv. "I wish people came with a 30-second trailer. So I can run across what I'm getting myself into."

15. "Smiling doesn't always mean you're happy. Sometimes, it simply means that you are a stiff person."

16. "If bedbugs are institute on beds, who ever came up with the name cockroach?"

17. "Relationships are much like algebra. Accept you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?"

18. "I simply cleaned everything from top to bottom, so now I'm gonna demand everyone to stop living hither."

xix. "Pandora opened the box with the new high-heels, put them on and went out to boondocks."

twenty. "Be yourself. People don't take to like you, and you don't have to care."

21. "Just tell me when and where and I'll be there twenty minutes late."

22. "I will text you 50 times in a row and feel no shame. Y'all're my friend, y'all literally signed upwards for this."

23. "I'd concord with you, simply and then we'd both exist incorrect."

24. "If I was meant to exist controlled I would have come up with a remote."

25. "It'due south going to be one of those days. The voices in my head are fighting. My imaginary friend is running with pair of scissors, and at i point 1 of my personalities wandered off."

26. "In three words I tin sum up everything I've learned nearly life: Information technology goes on."

27. "I'm sorry I injure your feelings when I chosen you stupid. I really thought you already knew."

28. "Customers will never honey a company until the employees love information technology first."

29. "My fondest babyhood retentiveness is not having to spend 40 hours a week with people who make me experience angry and tired then that I can afford to buy paper towels and laundry detergent"

xxx. "I hate how chocolates immediately melt on my fingers. I mean, am I that hot?"

31. "I was just another promise that you couldn't keep."

32. "When people tell me they're "spiritual" I'm like "Demons are spirits also… be more specific.""

33. "Information technology takes real skill to choke on air, fall up stairs and trip over completely goose egg… I have that skill."

34. "If yous fall, I'll be there."

35. "Sometimes your center needs more time to accept what your heed already knows."

35. "When nix goes right… go left."

37. "I really do try to see the best in people. Merely seriously.. Some of you fuckers are making it and then damn hard."

38. "I love my six-pack and then much, I protect information technology with a layer of fatty."

39. "Each time a bird shits on my car, I consume a plate of scrambled eggs on my porch – just to show them what I am capable of."

xl. "If you fart loudly in public, just yell, "Jet power!" and start walking faster."

41. "Sometimes, I shock myself with the smart stuff I say and do. Other times, I try to get out of the car with my seat belt on."

42. "Teacher: "Why are you talking during my lesson?" Student: "Why are you lot educational activity during my conversation?""

43. "I remember my trouble is that I take really fantastic bad ideas."

44. "Today'southward 3 year olds can switch on laptops and open up their favorite apps me? When I was 3, I ate mud"

45. "Once yous let mother fuckers slide, they get-go to think they tin iceskate."

56. "A moment of patience in a moment of anger saves you a hundred moments of regret."

47. "…On the vivid side I am non fond to cocaine."

48. "You are going to exist fine. You come from a strong line of lunatics."

49. "I have the L and R on my headphones seriously"

50. "I expect at people sometimes and recall …actually? That'south the sperm that won?!"

51. "The older I get, the meaner I get. I'g pretty sure it won't be long before I first biting people."

52. "Earlier you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are."

53. "An arrow can just exist shot by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, information technology means that it's going to launch you into something dandy. So just focus, and keep aiming."

54. "I correct autocorrect more than autocorrect corrects me."

55. "From this point on, I'm going to care for people exactly how they treat me some should be glad, some should be scared."

56. "My middle has no room for you, merely the torso of my car definitely does."

57. "Perchance hot chocolate wants to exist called beautiful chocolate simply 1 time"

58. "My ceiling fan has 3 speeds: 1) Barely moving. 2) Kinda feels like information technology's working. 3) Is going to fly off the ceiling and impale someone."

59. "Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions?"

60. "Today is Sabbatum, which means that the only decision that you should exist making is whether to have a canteen or a glass of wine."

61. "A recent written report has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it."

62. "I don't think at that place will be plenty java or heart fingers for this Monday"

63. "Grinning………… it will either warm their heart or piss them off… either style you lot win!"

64. "Aliens probably ride by earth and lock their doors…."

65. "Me: I am a potent, intelligent, college educated adult female. Also me: Wednesday-nes-solar day"

66. "Recall, if you lot tin can't say something nice… Brand it funny."

67. "This too shall pass. It might laissez passer similar a kidney stone. Simply it will pass."

68. "When someone says "Look the unexpected" slap them and say "Y'all didn't expect that, did you?"

69. "Lamentable, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours."

70. "Sex is similar math: You lot add the bed, decrease the clothes, split the legs and pray you don't multiply."

71. "There'southward someone for everyone, and the person for yous is a psychiatrist."

72. "At that place is no aroused style to say bubbles."

73. "If I wanted, I could destroy everything. Only I'1000 a skillful girl."

74. "If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success."

75. "You know when y'all purchase a handbag of salad & it gets all brown & soggy? Cookies don't do that"

76. "You: Teacher! Instructor: Yeah? You: Would you punish me for something I didn't practice? Teacher: Of course not. You lot: I didn't exercise my homework."

77. "Mon Tuesday Wed Th Glimmer Mon"

Funny Quotes Pictures & Images

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